tempest of thoughts

Vizio a mi

2010-04-24T13:35:00.000-07:00

You can never hold back flings

2010-04-15T22:22:00.001-07:00

Man: What can we say in forms of truth?
No, its not the way you say it.

Woman: I know its truth when your eyes are fixed.
Like mine.

Man: "You've got the black spot where it counts, right here"
(taps his chest)

Woman: No its not dead. Its just by now at this age, a female learns to think with her libido and fuck what her hearts says. The trauma of failure and the hope of a stranger downs her to bitter rings,
"The vertigo".

Man: I see....
So by now our pliant flings.. are piled into a script,
and thus we begin with our vices.

(They both look down at their empty Martini glasses)

Man:How's that working out for you?

(Woman waives down the waiter for another drink)

Woman: its not.

Admiration: A look to the glass

2010-04-06T20:35:00.000-07:00

As elegant as a vampire was Oscar Wilde.
The subject of omnivorous desire due to consume his tyrant heart
for harmony at much cost.
The pedantry was a very expensive one.
I take in consideration his sacrifice for unrequited selfish love.
It was not his fault.
Number 7's have a hard time finding love.

October 16, 1854- November 30, 1900

Twas' not hard not to love Nico.
As epic was her voice as much as her looks.
She did a cameo in Federico Fellini's "La Dolce Vita".
It is said that after she briefly dated Jim Morrison,
she became inspired to write and sing music of her own.
Well, of course we all know the rest became history.

October 16, 1938 -July 18, 1988

What do we all have in common?

I happen to share their birthdate.

Love
Queen of Chance

We lack certain Beginnings and introductions

2010-02-18T11:43:00.000-08:00

Oh, these birthing bones
How you make certain things known
Beginning with shrewd jealous grime
we swing both bats against our skeletal spine
such decadence of sin that is skin,
never to retain its precious ripe,

we are wasting pride, thus losing time

The big longing

2010-02-08T10:57:00.000-08:00

A( Turkiye/Deutsch) drama.

Phenomenal!

Woo!Just added it to my collection.

1939

2010-01-30T19:06:00.000-08:00

He wanted all to lie in an ecstasy of peace;
I wanted all to sparkle and dance in a glorious jubilee.
I said his heaven would be only half alive;
and he said mine would be drunk:
I said I should fall asleep in his;
and he said he could not breathe in mine..."
- Emily Bronte, Wuthering Heights, Ch. 24

Or, this dream we call human life

2010-01-18T11:49:00.001-08:00

Best investment this year, so far.....

To ere is human

2010-01-13T00:37:00.000-08:00

Ah this frivolous posture and screen fix we call life
Can send me diving into a well of wish wash old garments.
My wild over examinations on human concept of interaction,
can send me head first to roast and crack my skull
like the head of a succulent mythical beast.
Who could ever wish to endure such gargantous passion
that implodes and eventually does explode
in your hands, mouth, or teats.

[Scoffs]

"To ere is human, to forgive divine"

-Alexander Pope

La vie Parisienne

2010-01-02T15:34:00.000-08:00

I would a bitch too, if I was almost 100 years old and haven't croaked,
but by Jove; You are an amazing accomplished artist.

Long live Louise Bourgeois

Una Noche: Part Deux

2009-12-30T00:30:00.000-08:00

Our story was lost somewhere and we know that..
or much to the effect, I swell to know...
what now?
the tangent of dreams, the soft cool touch of skin
is there more to the taste of me, for men?
Wine stained lips swing and sway some...Memory
Through the daze gardens we dwell in muck
we touch the rain dew leaves, and squint
at the seaming glitter of the birthing sun
and we strip our heavy clothes off....

oh what season, what perfect reason and view for a fuck

Nocturna

2009-12-19T17:39:00.000-08:00

The pressures that soften the cage
soft wells of skin
they sink whilst you sleep
Shape of your structure
the skeletal ardor
corrects the idea of perfection
prefer the status of an idol...
to always love you

As prayers do plead
120 days I ask
a beautiful arch, an invitation
for the arms of the lost
illicit, forbidden

we have our reasons

Sworn to solemn

2009-10-08T00:06:00.000-07:00

I'm being depleted in circus senses of feeling
Learn to hold on tight to the skin on your back
before your hands meet mine
Complications arise to act upon our silent circumstance
What can I say? I shone true teeth
This youth tattoo of our modern limbs
is temporary paint that can last per say, three decades
Oh this musical ear, and this fear.
I crave the iris twins that live in water
and the milky sand of your lily white hands
Future stages of sin in this well-staged script
I cross my legs and pray, I cross my legs and pray
Mein Kraft, Upstage my bitter monologue,
swell the conservative audience to an encore
Claim this trophy wise, of lips and thighs
Swallow the seconds slowly
like a wind, a foreign steal
I sing warm whispers to keyholes,saints, and lover's ears.

dream to dream,let me earn a cast iron ring.

glass past

2009-10-02T12:25:00.001-07:00

My musical soul is trapped in another decade.

2009-09-30T00:28:00.000-07:00

There's not a single dry soul in this city who roams the way I do. At least 2,000 thoughts cross my mind each day and hide in the pockets of my brain. I'm going cold turkey. Lets see how my cells attack each other. Currently they are dancing to "Vitalic". I hear them swishing around to compose me a lovely headache. I think they want sleep. I probably should agree but I am addicted to music and Last.fm. But never the less, I am here because I miss my youthful rants about current events.

Last Wednesday I saw "Paper Heart". I didn't think Michael Cera was dreamy til then. I was the only girl in the audience. Actually I was the only one in the audience come to think about it, and by Jove it did not bother me. I enjoyed it, really. I saw it fit with my mood at the time. Which brings me up to speed; My moods and I are sort of detached at the time. They need time review the value of the people in my life. My ego provides some sort of "caste system", which leaves me numb and impermeable. School's great, I just could have hoped for more time of to dwell in my most current artistic measures. My boss is going to introduce me to one of her formal employees'. He is studying film, very shy, and according to her..he is pleasing to eye i.e. "Handsome". I think she's trying to play matchmaking. Which is hard in my case, because I tend to have a flavor of the week and I lose interest so quick, its short of disease. I guess it won't hurt to find somebody with a worthy common interest. This city lacks so thought and etiquette. Olympia is looking quite spiffy right about now.

I love Juergen Teller, and that is all.

mouth webs

2009-09-20T21:56:00.000-07:00

Oh, what a life we lead. Since birth I've walked wet and blind searching for the very meaning of the need to breathe and breed. Next month I'm going to be aged 21 years.

"Signs for show, for skin to cling to bone"

I now get to mourn my youth for the rest of my anniversaries.
Though I cannot complain; I found a dear friend who plays that very muscle of bellows the brings me great warmth. We get to seranade the cats and the brittle moon that swells in the west. My dear afflicted young chef is coming back to me. I need her; she's caring and sweet, under mothering sign of Cancer.
There's one "HE" in between.
"Twarting the ropes of my thoughts and requests of touch
that keeps my fingers spidery".
I do hope for memories, there is few like me. I shall continue slothing with the months, who knows what outcome. There's a lantern in my workshop ready to face the
predicament, the prologue to circus ring of this dry island city. He's different, I wish to tend to him and his domestic needs with pleasure( Unreal I know). I love his nervous stature and movie laughs. I really hope you are aware of my desire to know who you are now, and how I can help you become who you want to be.
I am also a soft curious mammal with big dreams.
You make this city a little brighter for me.

listen...

Bubamara!

2009-09-14T00:56:00.000-07:00

I'm turning into a Balkan/Serbian music whore...and I love it!

and yes this just happens to be one of favorite movies of all time.
Glad to finally own it.

::coos::

2009-08-31T20:58:00.000-07:00

Woke up with fingers crossed
In a boy's bed with your pants off.
After polite declines of coffee and toast,
walked home itching in last night's clothes.

Past the Phone Booth and the Beauty Bar,
the broken windows of your neighbors' cars.
Through the backdoor to a message from Sis,
asking, "Who was your New Year's kiss?"

Took the afternoon to piece it all,
plus a half a dozen phone calls.
Crashed a party with Larissa and Chris
in pursuit of a New Year's kiss.

Not the way that you'd imagined it.
On a balcony with champagne lips.
But in a pantry against the pancake mix,
you had your New Year's kiss.

2009-08-12T22:22:00.000-07:00

I've become very musical; I am now begining projects of my own.
I'm also in the company of my good friend Eric. Exciting sounds coming soon.

I'm learning a wonderful wonderful instrument.

Can't wait to perform some day.

Bitter end of the trail

2009-07-18T12:49:00.000-07:00

I've decided to keep this blog like an unwanted child. I jest, but I can't seem to remove it from my browsing history. This is going to be all about my days endeavours. I'm detached and fluttering to enjoy my life's travels. I'm truly lucky to have my feet on the ground and my heart is free and full of love. The love is completely for myself.(In the most non-narcissistic way).

2009-03-24T21:34:00.000-07:00

Your voice rumbles in my brain
Like a train tracking on the rails
Your singing voice habituates my throat
running smoothly, slipping softly
taking its time to single out
what kind of words run through your mouth

what would it be like to know her..

If we were no longer strangers
her eyes would drown out
other men in my life
the sun would rise for the first time
swimming against her skin, with no one in between

my heart is in a knot
and it cannot be stopped.

mentally crippling

2009-03-17T00:13:00.000-07:00

I'm in a boat metaphorically
the devil sails behind me
I trusted him once...
twice, maybe four times
He licked my palms and stroked my thighs
I poked his eyes and gnawed his horns
I guess some hope of love was somehow formed
we had musical ears
and my eyes were ripe and blown glass tears
hot and starched
white and parched
I soared in sand
be lowing at his strangest glance
I'm not a royal queen, I'm in between

gamble gamble seared auspicious dance

forever in limbo your lady, sweet baby
Queen of chance

thought broth

2008-10-05T22:40:00.000-07:00

The inexplicable quench for exsitence
The clay flesh of what is breathing
and sour taste of morning breath
the milk that stains our cheeks
almost daily..
The frustration of cuticle breakage from lack of vitamins,
from the lack of luck
and my body craves to healthy
the pits of my eyes constantly wander side to side
left to right,
my spine dries and curves
to become crabwise
...lets trust this face
its surface for hands to clamour
stitch my fingers with his hair
decorate me
scab me entirely

Can't go wrong without you

2008-08-29T12:17:00.000-07:00

Maybe it was an artery
Yes it was an artery
Sometimes it doesn't go
All the way around
May fields many questions
As the wind spins the leaves
My heart has saved you
Saved you from a beating
Sweeter than soon
May we meet in that room
Sweeter than soon
I can't go wrong without you
A chime chimes three times
The devil breaks both your hands
Takes your stuff and runs away

Bollywood

2008-08-22T11:13:00.000-07:00

"Bollywood's global audience running to 3.6 billion against Hollywood's 2.6 billion"
says Time Magazine. My obsession with Bollywood comes from my Desi roots. An in fact Shahrukh Khan AKA "King Khan" has more fans than Brad Pitt!

Today I'm showing the progress and development of Bollywood over the decades. The more time passes us by, the lighter the complexion of our Desi stars are starting to surface. I don't like it too much, but with the western influence on Hindi culture, what else is there to do but accept the fact that dusky skin is out and ghee (clarified butter) and fake colored contact lenses are in.

Circa 1950's, the golden age this is what Bollywood originally used to be about. This is "Mughal a zam" its supposed to be a film around when the Taj Mahal was built and the war with the mughals.
Madhubala is the "Marlyin Monroe" of Bollywood and always will be.

Then the western influence starting appearing with Helen in the 1970's (those aren't her real eyes)

Bollywood films now in days. Though I love Aishwarya Rai and the song&movie. I would like to see more dusky Indian women with black hair and brown eyes. Though the Desi men are still scrumptious as ever, I might add.
I know alot of Desi People that agree with me.

and finally a song that get stuck in my head alot.

Noorjehan is Pakistani, so it hits close to my heart. I love this song so much.

"Old is Gold"

2008-07-31T22:13:00.000-07:00

Seems so odd to be blogging again. I feel like I've been spit out into life again. Thrown up onto the paws of wolves. What has happend to me over the last two weeks will remain stagnant in my fore brain. I feel permanently bruised and sliced off any innocence and ignorance. The little girl I once knew in me, came back to kick me in the head and before I realized it; I laid angrily in a hospital bed. I have been so despondent and relentless towards life lately. Strife has consumed every thought and organ. It has made my words sour and my mouth dry.

Yet in spite of this woe. I do not dare give up on myself. I will prevail now, as I have before. I have natural gifts and touch for writing beautiful words. I want to be a gift to the world, not a harsh burden like many I know.

Chicago was beautiful as it always is.
Nice escape from El Paso, but not a permanent fix.

I shall entitle detail later.

2008-06-05T16:06:00.001-07:00

O

Mistress of Bobcats
Lady of Sagebrush
Why do you fool me?
showing me
you
In thousand shapes.
Groin,eyes,flank,toes
Arches,
Lifts of the arm
Hollow soft of the back of the knees,

sweets and salts of
lips and gulfs,
halls of deep flesh song-

Why do you trick me
Queen of Taste?
whose real beauty

is none.

In what I know, nature knows nothing

2008-05-09T15:52:00.000-07:00

Now i have a choice

between an arch of silence
or a shout of truth,

Let eyes grow stagnant on youthful flanks
Let lips disperse into muck
Let words seep in glass vial
for a lifetime of dirty soles
in aching speed and sure denial

death and matters of the heart come uninvited
much like visitors in a vase
on a warm holiday

A child offered me a flower today; I refused
politely I said and insisted "no sweetie, thank you"
I refuse to share stolen stems

she adorned her small head and frolicked away
I stayed behind, scratching the back of my neck

Happiness is only real when shared

2008-05-07T21:17:00.000-07:00

"Happiness is only real when shared"
-Christopher McCandless

How much sense do these simple 6 words mean? The realization that humans are only capable of being content when in the company of loved ones. Its highly believeable. I used to have the irrational belief that happiness comes with the self-sufficient ego an intellegent person perceives(e.g. pride/vanity).
But I think we all need at least an ounce of love to fill our thoughts.

The story of 23-year old Christopher McCandless is an epic story of a young man with the advantage of a good life and success. He renounces all luxury and insists on living by his own means, giving up on going to Harvard in order to execute his dream of exploring the icy Alaskan wilderness. Hence the title, "Into the wild". This story by Jon Krakauer has be depicted into film, which was inspired by a true story. Its stars Emile Hirsch who plays the wonderful role of our vagabond (Christopher McCandless). Over all it was an emotionally satisfying film; I have claimed it as one of my favorites for its spirit and touching imagery. I was trying to retain my tears from falling into my mango passionfruit tea, and making it bitter instead of tasteless and fragrant. What touched me the most is the extend of happiness of human relationships and the importance of forgiveness. I also think; I liked it so much partially... because in my own sub-conscious, I have a familiar drive to live in the wild, like a vagary native. Nude and painted in war palette while dancing for the gods in order for the sky to cry.

-sigh

its such a child-like fantasy of mine

also Eddie Vedder does the soundtrack, which is also a masterpiece.

Emile Hirsch

::drools::

well, I'm off to listen to the soundtrack, drink one last cup of tea, tend my sick Chhotti ma (mommy dearest), call my Boobears, and read one chapter of "Buddha" by Deepak Chopra. Its really wonderful; I love eastern philosophy

2008-05-03T16:37:00.000-07:00

Oh what a Gem of a man was Leopold Von Sacher-Masoch!
The grand papa of sado-masochism! I recently did a paraphillic report for psychology.
It was quite entriging and stimutaling in all profound way possible, poking at the rural corners of the human brain and its thought broth.
-Born in January 27, 1836 and paseed away in March 9, 1895. Died in shameful and banal state. Venus in furs was his first novella to be publizied in the english language.

The term Masochism was depicted from "masoch". I read that Leopold acctually renounced his wealth and duties to be punished by his mistress (his secretary)
I might add, (no surprise there). Six months spent being whipped and humilated for his own sexual gratification. His own journey and spirit was put into Venus in furs.
"And you--you are cold--you hold me like a block of wood; wait, I'll
stir you with the fire of love," she said, and again clung fawningly
and caressingly to my lips.

"I no longer please you; I suppose I'll have to be cruel to you
again, evidently I have been too kind to you to-day. Do you know, you
little fool, what I shall do, I shall whip you for a while--"

Wanda tells Severin, as he is planning on leaving her.

Fun Fact:

music lovers, The Velvet underground created a song called "venus in furs"
(which I have on VINYL)

I'm off to my lover's lair!
Hark! he calls!

2008-05-02T09:59:00.000-07:00

In my youth I have received a lot of emotional lashes. This week has thus by far been contaminated with my past . I've gotten mixed up in alot of uneccessary drama lately. I feel like I'm in an episode of "Gossip Girl"( which if i may add, is trully amazing). God bless you Cecily Von Ziegesar. I read the first two books in high school ( which was last year). I can't believe its going to a be a full year since I graduated EPHS.

(Lets out an over emotional roar of pain)

ai.

I got my car back! but some brute or something fucked around with my AUX input , so now I can't connect my iPOD and thus jam out to Hindi music in the morning when I'm going to class.
I'm filled with stife. It really doesn't affect me so, the car is still new and under warranty so they are going to replace it free of charge! Much to the arguement that my life is under alot of distress lately, nights have been pretty quiescence. Involves mostly hanging out with my significant other, and being vagary, spontaneous amongst other recreational forms.

School is almost out!
::does much needed hand gesture::

and I going to finally attend the meditation classes that I need. I'm too antsy, I run/drive around so aimelessly.
So... wednsday, I am going to go to the Buddhist recreational center on montana sit beside, the first person who will be my mentor, my friend rachel.( I am taking my other half with me)
I think we both need it... then maybe afterwards we can do it on our own and I can teach him the balancing of the 7 Chakras.

(Las Chakras points)

I'm such a fucking new-age hippie.
Fun Fact: I Had dreadlocks for two years, hahaha

anyways I've been listening to a lot of Black keys lately, I want to see them in Lolapalooza this year. The line -up is pheomenal! It would surely make up for last year's dissaster. I got my identy stolen when I went to Chicago last August. While I was merrily enjoying my portabella mushroom burger, I received a dreadful phone call, informing me that some asswipe jacked some of my money in El Paso.

Hence the fact that I had to close my account and couldn't attend Lollapolooza, WHERE I could have seen Iggy Pop....but I don't know, I want to go to the pitchfork festival and Reuben does too.
I'll probably wet myself...

2008-04-25T13:51:00.000-07:00

People are crazy
True statement down to the very core.
I wish I could round up the people who complicate my life,
as if they were cattle.
Then send them to slaughther houses and have them gutted.

oh I am smiling at the thought... very much so.

anyways..... Tremendous plans for this summer!

I love this video by "The Avalanches"
You can hear Jon Voight's voice saying " what does mean" and "I'm going to kill you"
Every time I think Jon Voight; I think...

"Midnight Cowboy"

a little twarted psycho-schematic movie about a male prostitute.
He spawned our beautiful Angelina Jolie,
such a pretty thing from such an ugly male frame.

well I'm off to shower and read a chapter of "Buddha" by Deepak Chopra

oh oh and last night I saw "1942: a love story"!
I cried; I really did.
80's Bollywood movies are the best!
My wedding song is in that movie, oh what the hey!

here it is

anew

2008-04-24T10:09:00.000-07:00

council, council,

The dire need of having thoughts extracted fresh from our forebrain.

p.s. The new Black keys album is phenomenal!